Witches and Weed by Anna McCluskey
Author:Anna McCluskey [McCluskey, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fantasy, Comedy, Humor, Witches, Urban, Paranormal
Publisher: Anna McCluskey
Published: 2020-05-07T16:00:00+00:00
Chapter 14
As they drove into town, heading for Wendy’s hotel, Joan and Brandon flipped through the book. A few pages in, they found one in English, although the wording and spelling were pretty outdated. The handwriting was different from the first couple of pages they had looked at. “A Spell of Love for to Cast Upon a Young Woman,” read Joan aloud.
“How cliché,” said Finn. “What do you do?”
Veronica mimed a mocking blow at them. “You better not be hoping to entrance any young women.”
“None but you, princess,” they promised.
“There’s a list of ingredients,” said Joan. “They sound like herbs, I guess. No eye of newt or anything. And then a ritual below. You mix them up, ‘pressing them upon a pestle,’ whatever that means, and then — Oh, my god, there’s a dance. With detailed moves.”
“What, like The Hustle or something?” said Ed.
“I have no idea. How do you do The Hustle?” Joan asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
Finn and Veronica grinned at each other, and Veronica began to gyrate in her seat. “You step forward and back, and then you spin.” She clapped her hands once and then pointed her right finger up and then down across her body diagonally. Then she began rolling her hands over each other first next to her left hip, then her right. “Oh, what’s next?”
“The chicken thing!” directed Finn, giggling.
“Right!” Veronica crooked her elbows and put her hands on her hips, flapping her arms like wings.
“Watch it!” laughed Finn, dodging Veronica’s left elbow.
“Is that it?” said Veronica. “I feel like there’s one more thing.”
“I don’t know, some kind of flourish at the end,” said Finn.
Joan snapped her gaping jaw shut and glanced down at the dance instructions on the page. “Um. No.” She shook her head emphatically. “It’s not like The Hustle.”
“Oh, well.” Veronica shrugged. She and Finn continued to giggle and mime disco dances to each other as Joan turned another page. Joan hoped Finn could dance and drive at the same time.
The wording grew more modern as the pages progressed, and more and more of them were written in English. Oddly enough, the newer spells seemed mostly to be about reversing the older ones.
She closed the book on the last page, a reversal of the non-Hustle-based love spell, as Finn turned the SUV into the crowded parking lot of the Luzern Marriot. Joan peered out the window. “Damn, this place is definitely at capacity.”
“Well, you never know,” said Finn. “Why don’t I swing by the front door, and someone can run in and see if there are any vacancies while I try to find a parking spot. If I can’t find a spot, I’ll assume there aren’t any rooms either and pull back around.”
“I’ll go,” Joan volunteered, eager to get out of the car again. She’d always hated long road trips. Her legs had a tendency to cramp up.
The car rolled to a stop alongside the curb at the sliding glass doors to the lobby. Joan unbuckled her seatbelt, and Ed swung open the door.
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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